Category Archives: Ponderings

A little BBQ humor (sort of…)

BBQ Humor

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Man cannot live on pork alone…

Pork Alone

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by | August 25, 2013 · 10:22 AM

BBQ Humor

BBQ Humor

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by | May 9, 2013 · 6:47 AM

A little foodie humor…

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Foodie Books (I only read ’em for the articles…)

I like to read about food.

Not just cookbooks, though I can spend long hours on the couch perusing those as well, but books about food, food history, and food culture.

Books like The Belly of Paris by Emile Zola, and The Apprentice: My Life in the Kitchen by Jacques Pepin have changed the way I look at food, and the respect I have for it, and the process that get’s it to my table.

The Nasty Bits by Anthony Bourdain (regardless of what I think of Tony, personally, it’s a fantastic book) and The Whole Beast, by Fergus Henderson, have sent me on a culinary adventure (usually flying solo, lol) far beyond the walls of sterilized, saran-wrapped “stuff marts” into a Wonka-esque world of offal wonderfulness.

Anyway, I like to read about food.

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The BBQ Pinkie Clutch

If you’re not familiar with the BBQ Pinkie Clutch, you probably don’t eat a lot of good BBQ or Southern fried chicken. I’m sorry.

That makes me sad for you.

My family history being, as it is, from the South (“where the roots go deep and the branches don’t fork…”), I learned, at a young age, the correct techniques for eating a number of local delicacies with my bare hands, and the occasional garden tool. Having been transplanted to “the other coast” for many a’year now, I sometimes find that a few of those lessons have stuck with me.

For example…

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Being a food blogger…

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Tony vs Paula…on second thought…I ain’t buyin’ it.

So, returning to our previous conversation, “Paula Deen is Not Your Personal Savior”…I was reading today that Anthony Bourdain (of No Reservations fame) continued his verbal onslaught of Paula Deen at last week’s South Beach Food and Wine Festival.

Apparently, someone made a comment, during a Q & A, inferring that it might be hypocritical of Tony to lambast Paula’s “health choices” when he, himself, smoked on camera for years.

Here’s what he replied, courtesy of Ecorazzi:

“You are right. I did smoke cigarettes for a lot of years on my show. But I wasn’t selling you motherf-in’ cigarettes. I wasn’t selling Smoking Tony dolls for your kids. You couldn’t go to five or six casinos around the world and find the Tony Bourdain f-ing smoking section. And when I found a spot on my motherf-ing lung, I didn’t wait three years so I could get a deal so I could sell you the Patch, OK.”

Geez, you kiss your mother with that mouth, Tony?

Here was my knee-jerk reaction post…

“The problem is, it doesn’t matter how much make-up, snappy one-liners, marketing dollars, or jazzy music you use to clean up a drug & booze addled, foul-mouthed, elitist jerk, low-life cook…eventually everyone is going to realize that he’s still just a drug & booze addled, foul-mouthed, elitist jerk, low-life cook…and change the channel. The shock-jock is funny for a few minutes, but no one wants to listen to him all day…”

Nice, huh?

Then, as my engine was cooling, a thought sneaked in…one of those sudden flashes of the blindingly obvious…

This whole thing is total crap!

This isn’t really about Bourdain vs. Deen, it’s about Travel Channel vs. Food Network!

If TC wasn’t feeding (or at least encouraging) these comments, they’d have snapped Tony’s leash and he’d have heeled a long time ago.

This is a ratings gambit for one of Travel Channel’s quickly tarnishing golden tickets…and I’m sure that the sympathy vote, coming on the heels of Food Network’s  “Queen of Butter” (don’t get me wrong, I love Paula) revealing that she’s diabetic…isn’t hurting them, either!

Having worked a LONG time in marketing…I wouldn’t be even slightly shocked if we find out someday that this whole “fight” was planned out in a boardroom somewhere, lol.

So, I’m calling B.S. on this whole Tony vs Paula thing…you read it here first!

– Perry

PS – Now, do something productive and go check out our new site: http://www.hautemealz.com

PPS – Regardless, I do not retract my aforementioned comments on Tony Bourdain, lol.

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FYI, Paula Deen is not your personal savior…and she probably doesn’t want to be.

So, apparently as a Food Blogger, I have a “responsibility” to comment on the whole Paula Deen/Diabetes Debacle, which I have religiously avoided up to this point.

In a nutshell: Paula “came out” about having Type 2 diabetes, which she’s had for several years, and much of the country has apparently been outraged enough to rouse from their Kardashian-enduced stupor and grunt (do lemmings grunt?) their dissatisfaction over the fact that she has “betrayed us all” by not pushing wheat-germ and tofu on her “southern cooking” show.

‘Cause…you know…we all thought her food was healthy, till we found out she had diabetes!

(Is my slant on this becoming too obvious?)

One comment I read actually stated, “Paula Deen’s failure to expose her diabetes and teach her audience that her recipes should make up at most a miniscule portion of an overall diet is a cynical moral failure of the first water, whether it was the doing of Deen, the Food Network, or both.”

Seriously.

Ooookay, my response…

GOOD…LORD…PEOPLE.

How ’bout just a little bit of personal responsibility?

What Paula Deen cooks or eats cannot effect anyone but PAULA DEEN…unless someone makes a CHOICE to cook and eat it themselves. There are no invisible diabetes-rays coming out of your television and raising your blood sugar, just by watching.

Trust me on this…if there were, I’d be dead by now.

She’s diabetic? I’m sorry to hear that, but those are the consequences of her choices, or maybe an unavoidable hereditary gene…do we know? Is it any of our business?  When did she come out and say on her show, “I’m diabetic, and this is how all diabetics should eat!” ??? Why would anyone assume that she’s qualified to give that kind of nutritional advice, anyway? Who would be stupid enough to believe it?

Neither Paula, nor McDonalds, nor RJ Reynolds is holding a gun to anyone’s head. We need to stop whining , and pointing fingers, and trying to find someone else to blame (and, likely, sue) for our bad decisions! As my jr. high gym coach would say, “Suck it up, boys!”

OUR eating habits make us fat, OUR smoking gives us lung cancer, OUR overspending and sense of entitlement put us in debt.

Stop expecting someone else to role model your life for you.

YOU be your role model!

Okay, taking my pedestal and going back to my bunker, now…

-Perry

PS – If you haven’t yet, go read up on Paula Deen’s rise from nowhere to stardom. You’ll find it shelved under “Courage” in the library. Just my .02

Don’t forget to check out our latest culinary adventures at www.hautemealz.com!

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The McRib vs. La Caja China

A Miami billboard is apparently causing quite a stir, and getting a write-up on the Miami Herald’s website:

“Hovering above one of the busiest thoroughfares in pork-roasting territory is a giant billboard featuring an image of the limited edition fast-food sandwich with this message: Put away la caja china, a reference to the contraption Cubans use as a fail-safe way to roast a pig for special celebrations such as Christmas and New Year’s Eve parties.”

My response?

 

Well, ironically, I just tried a McRib yesterday and posted on our Facebook page about it.  Wasn’t too bad either…for what it is…slightly better than a mini-mart microwave sandwich.

 

But if they think it compares to smoked and roasted pork (or brisket, or lamb, etc, etc…) from a La Caja China, then ol’ Ronnie the red-headed clown is smoking somethin’ a lot stronger than pig down in Florida!

 

 

I’d be happy to set up my La Caja China in a Mickey Dee’s parking lot and have a customer taste-test any time…my La Caja China pulled pork sandwich against your bottle-sauced mystery meat…

What’cha say, Ronald?

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